The Dos and Don’ts of Sliding Into DMs

Sliding into someone’s DMs — it’s a modern dating art form. One wrong move and you’re ghosted forever. But do it right, and you might just kick off a connection that could lead to something special. So, how do you master this delicate dance? Here’s a breakdown of the dos and don’ts to make sure your DM doesn’t crash and burn before it even lifts off.

Do: Start with a Genuine Compliment

Compliments are always a great way to break the ice, but make sure they’re sincere and not over the top. Instead of focusing solely on their looks, try complimenting something unique about their profile or something they’ve posted. “I love your taste in music — that concert you posted about looked amazing!” is way better than “You’re hot, let’s hang out.”

Why It Works:

A thoughtful compliment shows that you’ve actually paid attention to who they are, not just how they look. It sets a positive tone and opens up the conversation in a non-creepy way.

Don’t: Use a Pickup Line

Unless you’re both in on the joke, avoid the cheesy pickup lines. “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” might get a laugh with your friends, but it’s not going to win you any points here. Pickup lines can come across as lazy, insincere, or worse — desperate.

Why It Fails:

Pickup lines are like fast food: quick, easy, and satisfying for a moment, but ultimately not nourishing. A genuine message will always leave a better impression.

Do: Keep It Light and Fun

When you’re starting a DM conversation, don’t come in too heavy. Keep things casual and fun. Commenting on something you have in common, like a shared hobby or mutual interest, is a great way to kick things off. “I saw you love hiking! What’s your favorite trail?” is a friendly, non-intimidating way to get the ball rolling.

Why It Works:

Light and fun conversations make people feel comfortable. You want your first message to spark a natural and easygoing exchange, not leave them wondering if you’re interrogating them.

Don’t: Send a One-Word Message

Nothing screams “I have no idea how to start a conversation” quite like a one-word message. Whether it’s “Hey,” “Hi,” or “What’s up?” it doesn’t give the other person much to work with. Your goal is to spark a conversation, not leave them wondering how to reply to such minimal effort.

Why It Fails:

One-word messages can feel impersonal, and no one wants to engage with someone who hasn’t put in any effort. Show you’re genuinely interested by writing something more substantial.

Do: Make Your Intentions Clear (Eventually)

While it’s great to keep things casual at first, don’t drag out the small talk forever. If you’re interested in getting to know them better or even asking them out, make your intentions clear at some point. You don’t need to rush, but dropping hints about wanting to meet up or get to know them in person will help avoid the dreaded friend zone.

Why It Works:

Being straightforward (without being too intense) is refreshing. People appreciate honesty, and it shows that you’re confident enough to express your interest.

Don’t: Be Overly Persistent

If they’re not responding or seem uninterested, it’s time to take a step back. Sliding into someone’s DMs multiple times without a reply is a one-way ticket to Blocksville. If the vibe isn’t there, it’s best to gracefully bow out rather than becoming that person.

Why It Fails:

Persistence is great in some areas of life — like training for a marathon or nailing that job interview — but in DMs, it just looks clingy or desperate. Respect their space and know when to let go.

Do: Personalize Your Message

Sending a generic DM like “Hey, you’re cute” won’t get you very far. Take the time to look at their profile and personalize your message based on something they’ve shared. This could be a picture, a quote, or even a hobby they’re passionate about. “I see you’re into photography. Any tips for a beginner?” is way more interesting than a basic “What’s up?”

Why It Works:

Personalizing your message shows effort and genuine interest. It also opens up a conversation about something they care about, making them more likely to respond.

Don’t: Get Creepy or Inappropriate

This should go without saying, but we’re going to say it anyway: Don’t send anything inappropriate, overly sexual, or creepy. Compliments are one thing, but sliding into DMs with messages that are too forward or inappropriate will backfire. Keep it classy and respectful.

Why It Fails:

You might think you’re being bold, but in reality, it’s a quick way to get ignored or blocked. A little respect goes a long way in setting the right tone.

Do: Be Yourself

It’s tempting to put on a persona when you’re trying to impress someone, but nothing beats being yourself. Authenticity is attractive, and trying too hard to be someone you’re not will only lead to awkward situations later on. Keep it real, and if they like you for who you are, you’re off to a great start!

Why It Works:

People can spot inauthenticity from a mile away. Being yourself not only makes the conversation more comfortable, but it also sets the foundation for a genuine connection.

Don’t: Expect Instant Results

Not every DM slide is going to result in a date or even a reply, and that’s okay. The trick is to stay respectful and patient. If the conversation doesn’t take off, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t get discouraged — just move on gracefully.

Why It Fails:

Putting pressure on yourself (or the other person) for an immediate response can lead to disappointment. Relax and remember that not every connection will be a match, and that’s totally fine.

Final Thoughts

Sliding into someone’s DMs doesn’t have to feel like walking on eggshells. With the right mix of authenticity, light humor, and genuine interest, you can turn those messages into meaningful conversations. So keep these dos and don’ts in mind, and before you know it, you’ll be a DM sliding pro — without a single cringe in sight!